The Ledge
by bleachigo
Summary: During their student days, Ukitake contemplates ending his life, and Kyoraku has to convince him not to. Do they wind up going over the ledge together? Oneshot


_Notes: I don't own Bleach. Also, about 14 of you might have seen this before, and if you're one of them, sorry about that. I'm reincarnating this story as a one-shot._

_Yes, I finally found the perfect place._ Ukitake Jushiro peered down over the ledge of Sokyoku Hill, the wind blowing through his white hair and causing his blue and white student's uniform to sway as well. _Hopefully no one will feel the need to come and look for me. That note I left should make certain that no one thinks it would have been a good idea to stop me._ His hazel eyes scanned the craggy cliffs below him. Those must reach at least a hundred feet down. _I would not survive a drop down into those. I don't have enough training to be able to possibly shield myself from such a damaging drop._

He drew a deep breath, and his lungs rattled from his unrelenting sickness. With determination, he climbed over the ledge railing, standing on the outside of it. _Yes, this way, I can decide when to die, rather than leave it to this illness._ Tears began to flood his eyes. _I didn't want it to come to this, but I can't live like this any longer. Not knowing when I'll have another bad spell, not being able to do the things normal people can do!_ He allowed himself to lean a little further forward._ Please, all those I love, never believe for one moment that I don't love you and that's why I'm leaving you. It's the opposite! I love you all too much to be a burden for another day!_

So caught up in his misery, Jushiro didn't notice that someone had arrived behind him. It was Kyoraku Shunsui, his very best friend and brother-in-arms. Or so he had thought, until he found Jushiro's terrible note in their dormitory. Fear was something slightly foreign to Shunsui. It was lodged in his heart at the sight of how close Jushiro was to the precipice. At first, he wanted to cover his eyes, since that way he wouldn't have to watch Jushiro jump. However, he overcame this childish desire to block out the pain of what he was seeing, and instead strode fearlessly right up to the ledge, and climbed over it.

Now, he was right next to his friend, on the ledge. The wind now stirred Shunsui's wavy brown hair, and his light azure eyes fixed onto Jushiro's raging hazel ones, since by now, he noticed someone was with him. _"Shunsui! What are you doing?!"_ Jushiro shrieked.

"I thought I'd ask you the same thing," Shunsui said, trying not to react to his friend's distraught fury. _That Jushiro really has no idea how frightening he can be when he's really angry, does he?_

"Get off this rail, Shunsui! I mean it!" Jushiro yelled.

"Only when you do. Otherwise, I'll just stay here while you decide whether or not you really want to jump. I..I read your note, Jushiro," Shunsui told him. Jushiro let go of the rail with his right hand. Now, only his left hand kept him from falling down. "I wish I had known before how unhappy you were. I usually notice things, and I can't understand how I could have missed it, unless what happened was you didn't let me or anyone else see it."

"What is the point? There's nothing you could have done," Jushiro said miserably.

"Maybe, maybe not, but at least I could have tried!" Now Shunsui had the tears blinding his eyes, which maybe wasn't so bad because now he couldn't see how far down the drop would be if he slipped and fell. "Jushiro, please don't go! I know that you're depressed about your illness, but why can't you give anybody a chance to understand?"

"How can anyone else understand if I can't?" Jushiro asked so softly that the wind nearly made it inaudible. "You say you read my note? Then how can you ask that of me?" he asked a bit louder.

"Everyone thought, in the beginning, when you first got sick, that you wouldn't be able to overcome it. Then, when little by little, you progressed, in spite of it, people around you drew hope and inspiration from it. Now, to hear that _you've_ lost hope, after working so hard! It makes me think there's no hope for _me,_ either."

"Huh? What are you talking about, Shunsui?" Jushiro demanded.

"Well, what I mean is, if someone who is as strong as you is crumbling, then surely, I won't be able to overcome my limitations, will I?"

"Don't be stupid! You are healthy, and will never get sick! What other limitations could you have?" Jushiro asked.

Shunsui looked down at the sharp cliffs below their feet. "Do you know that my father has cheated on my mother so many times that it's almost a given that I might run into one of his mistresses on the street one of these days. Nobody in my house makes it until nine in the morning without a glass or a shot of something. When my brother comes to visit, he has to get a drink in his hand before he can kiss my mother hello. All I can do is pray that when I get older, when I'm drunk, that I'm just a happy, merry drunk like my father, rather than a vicious raging beast like my brother. So, when you say that you are the only one in the entire Seireitei that is ill, I'm not sure that's true. It's just a different sickness, one that I won't be able to overcome, if you can't overcome your illness..."

"Shunsui! I had no idea you felt that way!" Jushiro gasped.

"Well, you cover your misery up by helping other people and keeping it quietly hidden away, while I just put a happy face on and go with what I feel. Maybe it's better this way, just ending it…" Shunsui sighed.

"Don't do this just because I'm doing it," Jushiro argued with him.

"Oh, so you want me to be all alone, do you? I don't think so, Jushiro! If you jump, I'm going to go with you! They don't need me anyway!"

"That's not true! _I'm_ the one who is a burden, the one who has to hold back all the time, not you! _You_ are more important than I am! If I am dead, it won't matter much!"

Suddenly, a strong hand grabbed each lad by his upper arm and lifted him off the rail, back over the ledge, and dropped them onto the sandy ground ten feet safely back from the edge. Jushiro and Shunsui gaped at eachother, then slowly, with a lot of dread, turned around to meet the eyes of…

"S..sensei?" Jushiro stammered.

_"Be SILENT!"_ the great captain roared at them both.

They both bowed before him, shaking in fear. Yamamoto Genryusai-sensei seemed to be breathing fire, though it surely was their imaginations…wasn't it? Finally, Shunsui ventured to say, "Sensei, if you are going to kill us anyway, wouldn't it have been less trouble if you'd just let us jump?" This prompted Genryusai to thump Shunsui on his head with the scabbard of his zanpakuto.

"I forget what infants you two still are!" he rumbled. His iron gray hair was thinning over his head, and his beard formed a point just below his collarbone. He wore his Shinigami black _hakama_ and his contrasting white captain's haori, and in all, he cut a very imposing figure. Especially since his _reiatsu_ would be enough to send both Jushiro and Shunsui flat into the sand. He didn't need to do that, of course, since they were both facing the sand anyway. Jushiro tried and failed to stifle a coughing spell. "I knew that you were falling ill again, Ukitake-kun!"

When Jushiro managed to wipe some of the blood he'd coughed up onto a handkerchief, he managed to eke out a "I'm sorry, Sensei." At once, Genryusai caught each boy by his chin and raised his head up to face him.

"When I say that you two are infants, I do not mean to insult you. It is mere fact!" He looked deeply into the eyes of each of them, meeting the azure of Kyoraku and the hazel of Ukitake with his own deep umber. "I failed you both, today. I realized that I had forgotten to teach you something important, something that infants do not know, but need to learn if they are to grow into the future of the Soul Society!"

"Sensei?" Jushiro started.

"Be silent, little ones! Listen to what I say. Today you both found something when you climbed over that accursed railing. You have discovered your Dark Gifts."

"Dark gifts?" Shunsui breathed wonderingly.

"Indeed. Every person is born with a Dark Gift. Most people, especially those who never learn better, or infants like yourselves, would call the Dark Gift an obstacle. But it is not a mere obstacle. The Dark Gift is nothing less than the highest mountain you must climb in your lives. For you, Ukitake-kun, it is your illness. For you, Kyoraku-kun, it is your family's history with addiction. Infants like you might find the Dark Gift an insurmountable challenge, which is why you take actions like trying to commit suicide!"

"Sensei, dark or not, my illness is no gift," Jushiro dared to say.

"You are not listening! I discovered my Dark Gift later in my life, and when it did, I cursed it, I raged at it, I did whatever I could to deny it. But in the end, I could do nothing more except learn the lesson it foisted upon me. I realized I would never have a child of my own to pass my knowledge. That drove me to start this school, in the end.

"And because I did that, I met two very promising children among all the others that came to be trained here, two infants who could grow and hopefully thrive under my tutelage, until they became what I had always dreamed my children would be! I learned what the Dark Gift's lesson was, that my children do not have to be of my blood to learn from me! Once I learned this lesson, I was finally allowed to see the faces of my two sons for the first time! And today, I learned that they have Dark Gifts as well, and, even worse, I learned that they have the power to break my heart!"

This announcement made Shunsui gulp audibly. Jushiro's hazel eyes welled up again. "I'm sorry, Sensei!" each one cried after then other.

"Yes, you two keep saying that…Perhaps if I had pushed you two off that rail instead of pulling you back, you wouldn't be more sorry?"

"Huh?" they both gasped in alarm.

"But Sensei?"

"I thought you said?"

"Yes, I think another lesson is in order!" Genryusai dragged them both by the scruff of their necks and brought them back to the railing again. This time, however, he tossed each one of them effortlessly over the side!

"Sensei, wait!" Jushiro yelled as he sailed into the air.

"What is it? Now you don't want to die anymore?" Genryusai asked. His two beloved students descended into the unseen bottom of the cliffs. He listened for them.

And then he heard Shunsui complain, "Ouch, Yama-jii, that hurt!" To this, Genryusai burst out into terrifying laughter.

"_GREAT!"_ Jushiro raged, "Now Sensei just thinks I'm a _drama queen!"_

"Well if the shoe fits, Jushiro…" Shunsui shot back.

"Oh, yeah? My shoe is gonna fit really well up your ass, Shunsui!" Jushiro spat.

"If you two infants don't crawl back to the Academy in _five minutes,_ I will stick you both in a playpen, and I assure you it will be a far more painful lesson that the one I just taught you!" Genryusai warned, and with that, he strode away.

Jushiro's face had far more color than it had in quite a while. Shunsui rubbed his backside a bit as he stood up. "Well, I suppose a fall from the ledge of Sokyoku hill won't kill me after all," Jushiro said. "That's what I learned today."

"Yeah, what about the fact that Yama-jii doesn't like his feelings messed with? That's what I learned today. We'd better get back," Shunsui concluded, taking his place right next to his troubled friend as they began stumbling their way back to school.


End file.
